Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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