look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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