I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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