yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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