Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
