You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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