I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
