Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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