all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
