Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize