dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
cat food counts as protein by the way
We are two peas in an std pod
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
