She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
