also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
