my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
