whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
