So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
