He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
