that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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