There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
