I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
