I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
