he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize