yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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