Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The air was thick with penises
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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