butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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