i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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