at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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