oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
