Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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