so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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