haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
