My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
