am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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