the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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