can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
