I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize