areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this will be a night to untag.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
