Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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