So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
