Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
