I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
