yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Life is so much better after having sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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