One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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