i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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