I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
