no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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