It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
