the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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