There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize