his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
