Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can't motorboat a personality
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize