you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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