I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
