My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize