Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
