Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize