im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
